Forever Cedar Park High

Today's one of those days where reality really hits ya, right in the face. Facing the fact that all the people you've grown up with that have become some of your best friends, won't be living in the same place as you next year. That the town you've lived in for years and years won't be where you're living next year. It's all so hard for me to grasp because it's times like these where I wish life would just stop for a second so I could catch up, but it doesn't. Like my best friend said, we grow up in such innocence, thinking it will all last forever but then you turn around and you realize the people you finger painted with in kindergarten are all sitting with you in an auditorium in caps and gowns and you wonder where the time has gone. And as you hug people you've known forever but never really got to know too well with such joy as if they were your very best friend, that's when you realize the true beauty of it all. That this place and these people have become home and the joy you have inside is just bursting at the seams because you've finally made it. But then it hits you all too hard that nothing will ever be the same after this day. Then the bittersweet reality that high school is actually over is finally starts to sink in a little bit. You begin to think back on the past four years and see all that has come of them. All the friendships that were lost but the even better ones that took their place. The many laughs and good memories but also the times of suffering and loss and spiritual growth. Looking at it all now, I wouldn't trade the past four years of my life for anything though. God has used these years to grow me and shape me into the person he wants me to be. He has tested me and challenged me in ways I could have never imagined and He has given me the best friends I could have asked for to go through all of it with. High school has been the greatest years of my life thus far and its hard to let that go. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the truth that this isn't just a summer like any other where I return to my high school that's right down the street in a couple short months to see all the familiar faces I have seen for the past 13 years of my life. But the fact is, this isn't like any other summer and I won't be going back to high school in a couple months and I won't be surrounded by so many familiar faces. Everything is different now, yet somehow it doesn't quite feel like that yet. It's hard for me to accept that my time at Cedar Park is done. That I will never again play soccer with my best friends or go to another football game as a high schooler or visit my palees or see my best friends every day in the hallway. It's all over. And while that is incredibly sad to think about, what I've learned through this whole season of "lasts" and way too many goodbyes to count, is that there are far better things ahead than what we leave behind. God has promised all of us a future full of hope and good things. While high school has been so much fun, its time for the class of 2015 to take on life's next big adventure with open hearts and minds.

Transitioning into this new season of life is both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. This is the time we have been waiting for our whole lives. Its what the past 13 years of school has all been for. There is so much to live up to, it seems like just about everyone is watching you to see you do something amazing like change the world or something. This is both empowering and intimidating because you feel as though you have all the power in the world the second you grab that diploma but then you take a moment and you realize all the responsibilities that go along with having it. We are thrown out into the big world and expected to make something out of ourselves. Expected to do something bold out there and to take control of our lives that now fall completely on us. With this new found responsibility and big push to do great things, I find myself so excited for the future. I can't wait for this next year of my life filled with many travels and helping people of all kinds of life. I can't wait to see places I've never seen before and meet people I've never met before but already have a heart for. My heart absolutely cannot wait.

While change can be scary and dreaded, it can also lead to greater things than we thought possible. With that being said I am ready to embrace this huge change with an open mind and an open heart. I am ready to let God do what He wants with my life and let go of the control I once thought I had over my life. I'm ready to be challenged in new ways and learn more about myself and this great big world than I know now. So here's to embracing change and learning to find joy in both the simplicity and chaos of life. God's got some huge things planned and I'm ready for whatever he's got!

So it's time to say goodbye to high school. Goodbye to Friday night football games and playing soccer under the stadium lights. Goodbye to being in the same school as all my friends and spending lunch in an old cafeteria. Goodbye to hours of homework and studying for tests. Its time to say hello to new adventures. Hello to seeking simplicity and finding joy in each and every day.Hello to new places and new faces. Hello to the next chapter in this crazy story written by the one whose had it all planned out since the beginning. Here's to a new beginning but never forgetting the good times that were had and the memories that were made. But always, Forever Cedar Park High.

One Last Hoorah

       Life has been pretty crazy and I haven't had much time to get on here and blog about what's been going on in life but I finally have some time to just sit and pour everything out so here it goes. A couple weeks ago, I had my very last CPGS banquet ever. Crazy right? Time is flying by so dang fast. To start, I specifically want to talk a little about my second family. The girls who I've grown up playing next to, the girls who have been there through it all, and the girls I am going to miss so dearly. Looking back on all my years playing soccer, I couldn't even imagine what it would had been like if I didn't have my CPGS girls by my side, especially my seniors. From playing YMCA soccer in second grade, to being awkward middle schoolers who thought we were way cooler than we actually were, to now being seniors together, I wouldn't trade them for the world. These girls have laughed with me, cried with me, and just about everything in between. These are my 11 best friends who I am gonna miss the heck out of next year. I can honestly say that each one of these seniors has taught me something more than simply what being apart of a team means. Vanessa has taught me how *not* to dance and that you always need your best friend beside you to stretch out your extremely small jersey for you and sing the star spangled banner with terribly (and she happens to be mine for both). Emily has taught me that getting through the awful Lonestar soccer years is possible if you have friends like ours. Bean has taught me what it means to truly be joyful and to make the best of every situation life throws you. Alanis has taught me that you can't take life too seriously and you just gotta be crazy every now and then (or all the time). Bekah has taught me what GOOD pumpkin chocolate chip cookies are and that you can never listen to enough Eminem. Chapa has taught me that being hype is a good thing when used for the right things. Sarah has taught me that people from out of state are cool and that its okay to eat a lot of food sometimes (or all day, every day). Maddi has taught me that sometimes sass is necessary and what it means to fight like hell for what you want. Claire has taught me that being weird is a good thing (most the time) and gets you a lot of friends (maybe not) and that soccer is way more fun when you get to play with your best friend by your side. Neg has taught me how to say a good prayer, that the bench life can be the good life, and that ball is life (sikee). Kimmy has taught me that its okay to be mushy and that when someone scores (especially Kimmy) you CELEBRATE like there is no tomorrow.

       Words can seriously not describe the immense love I have for every one of these girls. It breaks my heart to know that I will never get to play another game with these girls or sing metal shop in the back of the bus on the way home, or go to tournaments with anymore. Never again will I get to be apart of a team whole loves me so well, or ride that pony before games, or have crazy team sleepovers. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, its all over. It's crazy to think that three years ago, we were all starting our very first season of high school soccer on JV with the craziest coach ever; Brewer. It honestly feels like just yesterday we were all sitting in the back of the bus singing crazy train with all of our assigned parts and practically dying every Brewer drove and rolling down grass hills and killing dripping springs in seek of great revenge. Looking back at it all now it seems so ridiculously fun and stupid but also such great memories all at the same time. Those really were the days. Its so bittersweet for me to be done with this chapter of my life; done with CPGS. It has been such a good ride with so many amazing memories and so many great friendships that I wouldn't have made anywhere else. But these are my girls and this is my team and always will be. Every year at banquet the seniors will tell you that high school goes by faster than you think and you never get how right they are until you're the senior. Until you are the one who is having to say goodbye to all your best friends and the sport you love, you don't get how much this has all meant to you and how fast it's slipping away. Then you get to the point where I am, and it hits you and you wish you would have cherished every second you had of it better. But this chapter of my life is over and I'm happy with how it ended. I couldn't have asked for a better four years of the sport I love with the people I love even more. For one last time, forever CPGS and Hoorah.

                                                       

The Little Moments

Today was one of those days that make you so thankful to be alive. It was one of those days when you seem to find the beauty in every little thing life brings you that day. God sure knew what he was doing in my life today. My favorite little moment of today was during my soccer game when my best friend Kimmy (Ashlynn) scored. It may not seem like much but it was the happiest thing that all day. Right after she scored I sprinted as fast as I could and gave her the biggest hug. It was one of those moments where nothing else in the world mattered than what was happening right there. As I looked at Kimmy I saw tears forming in her eyes and couldn't help but notice I was tearing up myself. As I kept playing the rest of the game I couldn't stop smiling. All I felt was genuine, pure joy; the kind you never want to stop feeling. It got me thinking that maybe these little moments, these small pieces of time that leave you smiling from ear to ear are what life is all about. Yeah, the big moments in life are important but I think all the small moments that make up life are just as important. After all, It's the little moments that mean the most in the end. For that reason, I think they deserve to be celebrated. I think that the more we allow ourselves to be happy for others the happier we are. So maybe if instead of only celebrating the big moments of life, we celebrate the little ones too and make them the big ones? What if we let ourselves be truly happy for the people around us and make them feel loved and appreciated all the time? Bake a cake, write an encouraging note, give a hug to somebody. Let people know how loved they are and how much you care. Celebrate the little moments because in the end, they are what define our lives, the moments we will remember forever.  So for now I am trying to live in the moment and be more aware of these special little moments. I am learning to find the beauty in every day and celebrate this amazing life we have been given to truly live. 

Here's to New Beginnings

2014. 

Wow. What a year. A year full of so much joy but also pain. A year full of new beginnings and some sad endings. A year full of adventure and exploring but also one of feeling lost at times. A year full of lots of love and growth but also times of doubt and despair. But man, has it been a good one. There have been many highs and few lows which I am very thankful for. Some of the best days were made when I wasn't trying so hard to make them happen. I have truly began to see what really matters in life and what doesn't. In this year, I have grown so much not only as a person but with my relationship with God as well. God has become the center of my life, my very best friend. I have found that I can only become completely and utterly satisfied. I have come to find myself in him and in turn have really started to see all the good he has done for me in my life. This year, for me, has been a year of giving thanks. A year of being thankful for all that God has given me but also all that God has taken from me. I have learned not only to be thankful for all the good times and the good people he puts in my life but also the bad times because they too are the pieces that help build me into the person I'm supposed to be. This year, I have realized merely just a fraction of the grace God has given us and the healing power through a life with him. This year I have been challenged and tested in ways I never have before and I've had a God who has been faithful in me the whole time. He has never left me, forgotten me, or forsaken me, and I think that is something we tend to forget. We like to believe that all these challenges and hard times are somehow God's way of punishing us or knocking us down but really I think its just his way of leading us back to him. Because no matter how much changes, he doesn't. This year God has blessed me abundantly in friends and experiences and family, but also in faith. I'm not the same person I was at the beginning of this year and for that I am thankful. But I do know that the growing and the learning never stops and that God still has so much more for me to learn and experience in this next year.

2015.

A new beginning. A new set of blank pages to write a new story on. It is such a bittersweet feeling. Exciting because its a fresh start, a new chance to start over and to change old habits and make resolutions. Scary because I have no idea what to expect out of this year and I am going to be put out of my comfort zone in so many instances. But to me, it is more exciting than anything because I know that my God is ever faithful and always present. After how great 2014 was, I can't wait to see what this next year holds. This is the year that I will be challenged and tested like never before, living halfway across the world from my friends and family. I'm going to be in a different culture with new faces and new customs to learn and appreciate. Although it appears scary at times, all this new change that I'm about to experience, the joy and excitement I feel is hard to contain. This year holds so much growth and learning to be done and I can't wait to see what life is like outside of sweet ole Texas. My heart is ready, my hands are open. I pray that the Lord continues to work in wonderful ways in my life to continue to make and mold me into the person I am supposed to be. Here's to a year full of new adventures, new places, and new faces. To be pushed beyond my limits and experiencing even more highs and lows. Welcome to the year of open hearts and holding onto nothing. To wading into the deep waters of mercy and grace that patiently await my arrival.

Pope Francis: A life of radical love

Because of the fact that today is the day one of my most favorite people on the planet was born, I knew I had to write a blog post about how amazing of a person Pope Francis is. I don't even know where to begin because I love every single thing about him. Pope Francis is one of the most humble, loving servants of the Lord the world has ever had the chance to know. He never for a second is thinking about himself, but rather he always has his focus on others and satisfying their needs before his own. When I look at Pope Francis I see the kind of person we are all called to be. We are all called to be lights to this world and to love all the people around us in every way possible. We are called to feed the hungry and clothe the naked, leaving no person left to care for themselves. We are called to live a life of radical love for the sake of the gospel and to proclaim the news to every corner of the world. Pope Francis is the epitome of what it means to be humble. Without hesitation he goes and seeks the neediest person he can find and brings him into his home like he is no different than one of us. He goes out into the streets with no protection at all to bring healing to the brokenhearted and the suffering. His every action is done out of compassion and I think we all have something to learn from this amazing man. He teaches us what being joyful truly means. He has made us believe the incredible truth that we are all called to be saints and to live a life of holiness.  Pope Francis has been a light to all the nations since the day he was declared Pope of the entire Catholic church. I fell in love with him the minute I began to see all the good he is doing for this pain-stricken world. He has brought so many people back to their faith and has made huge bounds in growing the catholic church family. I truly believe that if more people were like Pope Francis the world would be a better place. Through him, we have to come to realize what it means to truly be a disciple of the Lord and to keep God at the center of every aspect of our lives. He has taught us to extend a hand to the needy and to love everyone around us the same. Pope Francis calls us all to be brave and to give of ourselves to other people. He also tells us to be joyful and to live a life of happiness with the Lord. He once said:

"Love is the measure of faith."

Pope Franci teaches us to love with all we have. Our love shows how deep our faith in God is. Pope Francis teaches us to be brave and to answer the deep cries of the poor and the suffering and to share in the joy of the Lord with them. Pope Francis is my hero and is someone I believe we should all look up to. He is the perfect example of what living a life for Christ looks like and his life is truly one worth imitating. He teaches us to let ourselves be consumed in radical faith and to radiate our light wherever we go. May we always look to him in our desperate search to be more than just mediocre Christians. Happy 78th birthday to the greatest human being, Pope Francis!

Restoring Joy

Yesterday was one of those moments where I knew I had fallen right on my face and God saw it all. Since being accepted for The World Race, sadly my real purpose and why I was doing it all slowly began to trickle away as the daunting task of raising money entered the scene. I knew that this was something that happened to a lot of people but I assured myself before I started the whole process that I wouldn't be one of those people. Yet here I was. I was at the point where I wasn't allowing God into the situation like I knew I was supposed to rather I was just trying to do it all on my own and for my glory. I was spending hours and hours writing letters and talking to people about it in hopes that they would support me financially but I didn't allow them to see the utter joy and love I had for the program. It became all about the money and how I was going to fundraise and this and that until I had lost sight of the why. Why I was even fundraising. Why I was going to giving up nine months of my life to go serve. It had all faded away once I began fundraising because the amount of money I had to raise seemed too big for me not to constantly be worrying about it. But with my loss of my purpose and why I was doing it all also went the joy I felt for it. I had let this huge price tag on the trip overcome my happiness and turn it all into a chore instead of embracing the process. But then God brought me today. Yesterday He showed me that joy and that fire I had when I first started the program, before all the money. He showed me the true passion I have for this mission and WHY I am doing it all. He reminded me that service is where my heart belongs and where I am feeling called to go. Just with a little help from something else, God was able to fully bring back all the joy and the excitement of the new adventure I am about to embark on. My t-shirt design had just been finished and although I was a little skeptical if anyone would even buy it, there went God again with his awesome plans. Within minutes I was receiving tons of text and comments on instagram telling me what sizes people wanted and how excited they were for me and my trip. But this was only the beginning of my restored joy. Later on in the night, I recieved a text from a very sweet friend of mine and this only added to the immense joy I was already feeling. He told me how proud and excited he was of me and how good the work I'm doing will be for the Lord and his Kingdom. He told me how we are called to share the good news and be a light to others and told me that is exactly what I am doing. My heart was overflowing with happiness. It was in that moment that I began to remember it all. I began to remember all the joy I felt when the journey first started and I got the call that I had been accepted on The World Race. And slowly but surely I began to remember the true purpose for doing all this; to love people. I had gotten so caught up in the financial part of it that I had forgotten to see how my heart was changing and growing towards this mission. I think it is easy to get caught up in the moment and to lose sight of what is really important. I'm so thankful for a God that knows exactly what I need when I need it and who loves me unconditionally even when I fall flat on my face. I know falling again towards only making money and having myself all funded may be inevitable, but I now know how easy it is to get sucked into that mentality and I don't want to go back. I don't want to go back to being in a state where I forget what its all for and why I am even raising this money and the first place. I now know that this is a hard journey, raising funds, but it is one that can bring me closer to God than I ever have before and restore my faith and trust in him. In the end, I know God is going to provide if this is where he wants me to be next year. So for right now, I'm remaining in that truth and letting myself feel the pure joy of it all.

Simple things

As a PALS 2 we get the amazing opportunity to visit an Alzheimer's home near us as well as mentor young children in elementary and middle schools. Visiting the Alzheimer's home has brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined, especially today. When we arrived, there were some kids from a local christian school that were there singing some songs to all the residents in one of the main cafeterias. Attached to the cafeteria is a room with doors open to hear the music and in that room sat a sweet lady clapping and dancing to the music, happy as can be. A couple of my friends and I went over to her and the next thing I knew, we were all up on our feet dancing to the beautiful music being sung in the room over. Nothing could ever compare to the joy I felt holding hands with a such a sweet lady dancing without a care in the world to "you are my sunshine" and "deep in the heart of Texas." As we all sang every word to all the songs they played, I began to see Christ exuding from sweet Layla. I can't even begin to describe how that smile made my heart feel. All I know is that nothing can compare to the joy I felt dancing with Leila. After the kids left, I got the chance to talk for the remainder of our time there with sweet Leila and what a life full of whimsy and adventure she has lived. Born in New York City, lived in Istanbul, Turkey till she was 15, then moving to Austin to attend UT and later earn 3 degrees, Layla had done it all   She told me all about her four children and her great love for horses and the sport of polo. We talked about New York and the beautiful season of Christmas there. She told me all the places she had traveled to; Brazil, Greece, Egypt, England, Turkey and many more places I have only dreamed of going. She told me to follow my dreams and to travel while I'm young and gave my the encouragement to do what I want to do with this one crazy life. We talked about Austin and what a wonderful place it is. Then unfortunately my time with sweet Leila was done for the day and we had to leave. I made a beautiful new friendship today and my heart couldn't be happier. Leila made me smile bigger than I have in a while. I'm so thankful for a God who knows what I want more than I do. It's the simple things in life like dancing with a sweet old woman that make you step back and take a look at the beautiful life God has given you. Today I am thankful for a whole lot more than I deserve; a beautiful new friendship and the chance to dance and rejoice in the life God has given me.